


A Nice Lady

by GreyLiliy



Category: Red vs. Blue
Genre: Fluff, Friendship, Gen, Humor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-10-02
Updated: 2013-10-02
Packaged: 2021-02-28 00:29:20
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 745
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22594819
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GreyLiliy/pseuds/GreyLiliy
Summary: Caboose wants to make it very clear just who Church’s favorite person is (Tex thinks it’s cute).
Relationships: Michael J. Caboose & Agent Texas | AI Program Beta
Kudos: 14





	A Nice Lady

**Author's Note:**

> [First posted to Tumblr on October 2, 2013 as “Drabble #68 - Caboose/Tex.” Crossposted to Archive of Our Own on February 6, 2020. Only the work itself has been posted.]
> 
> Written as a Request.

“Okay, so I know that Church is your gay robot boyfriend,” Caboose said, shifting his hold on the sniper rifle in his arms. He hung over Tex’s shoulder, the blue armor shining under the midday sun. “But I am his best friend, which means he likes me more than you.”

“What?” Tex asked, looking over at the idiot. She threw her wrench back into the tool box, standing up from her repairs on Sheila’s treads. Caboose had been rambling about Church for a while now, but she hadn’t been paying much attention. Until that last statement. “He’s my what?”

“Well, you are a guy and Church is your boyfriend. And he is a robot. Which makes him a gay robot,” Caboose said, with more confidence than he should have. He pointed at Tex. “So he’s your gay robot boyfriend.”

“Caboose, I’m a girl,” Tex said, slowly and elongated to make sure it sunk in. She would have called herself a ‘woman’ but she wondered if Caboose even knew what that was. She repeated herself–it was bad enough with Tucker saying she wasn’t a 'real girl’ like the others. “Girl, Caboose. I’m a girl.”

“Oh,” Caboose said, tilting his head in confusion. He looked down at the ground, his hands still twisting on his rifle. He looked at Tex again and nodded his head once. He said as matter of fact as possible: “Then you are a very mean lady.”

“What did you want again, Caboose?” Tex asked, resisting the urge to punch the kid. If he were anyone else, she would have let him have it by now. But it was really hard to hit someone that dumb.

It wasn’t this fault he was an idiot.

“I do not want you to feel bad thinking Church likes you more than me, so I want you to know for sure that I am his best friend,” Caboose said. He clapped his hand against his rifle, making the parts clack together. “That’s all.”

“What?” Tex asked, feeling her IQ drop with every minute talking to this kid.

“He is my best friend! He is staying here with me! So when you leave, you will not be sad he’s not coming with you,” Caboose said. He stood up straighter. “Just in case you may have thought he’d go with you when the mission ends and not stay here.”

Tex stared for a full moment. Caboose’s posture dropped as she watched him. He shifted foot to foot, and his his shoulders shook as he waited for an answer. He looked like a little kid, and she could picture him biting his lip behind the helmet. Caboose was nervous, worried. About what though–Oh.

That was a little cute.

“Church isn’t coming with me Caboose when I leave,” Tex said, lightening her voice. She put her hand on his shoulder, and shook her head. “He’s staying right here with you. So don’t worry about it.”

“Yes! I knew that,” Caboose said. His voice picked up as the weariness and worry dripped away from his blue armor. “He is my best friend. Church is the best.”

Tex felt a smile tug at the side of her lip. She shook her head and crouched down to pick up the wrench again. “Yes he is, Caboose.”

“And he’s not going anywhere!” Caboose said again, though he shouted–she could hear the last little plea of a question in his voice.

“Nope,” Tex said, “no he’s not. He’s not going to leave you alone with Tucker.”

“Right! Because Tucker is stupid,” Caboose said. He shifted again on his other foot. He wrung his hands on the rifle again, and his voice dropped–almost conspiratorially. “But, you know. It wouldn’t be so bad if you didn’t leave either.”

“Oh?” Tex smiled. She stood again and smacked the wrench in her other hand. “And why is that?”

“Because even though Church likes me best,” Caboose said, “I think he sort of likes you, too. Maybe. For a scary lady.”

“You don’t say,” Tex said, shifting her hip out and putting her hands on them. She almost laughed. “Well how about that?”

“Yes,” Caboose said. “And maybe, I do too. You scare Tucker.”

“You better believe I do,” Tex said. “Now, that we’re all clear–you want to help me with Sheila?”

“Yes! She is a nice lady,” Caboose said.

“That’s right, Caboose.” Tex thumped the back of Caboose’s helmet.

Church was a damn lucky guy.


End file.
